Just Wear a Skirt - It Will Finally Feel Like Spring And Other Lies I Tell Myself

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1. Tossing together lots of random leftovers in the fridge makes for a delicious meal.

2. Really cheap nail polish isn't cheap for a reason [aka that it won't actually stay on your fingers for more than 1 day].

3. Setting my clock 14 minutes early actually helps me to arrive places on time.

4. I really don't need a shopping cart for my groceries. I can get through the store quicker without one and can totally manage to carry everything I'm planning to buy.

5. Pandora can read my mind and knows exactly which songs to play when I want to hear it. That must be why the same five songs loop on the Beatles' channel.

6. Life is easy. As in turn on the auto pilot, it's all clear waters ahead.

7. A mental to-do list is just as effective and likely to get checked off as a written one.

8. Paying bills, getting to the bottom of your car's mysterious new clunking sound, dealing with credit card companies, having a root canal - these are all wonderful parts of life as a real, live grown-up.

9. It doesn't really bother me that a coworker of mine insistently makes "hmmMM" sounds as she walks past my desk several times each day. Or that another smacks her gum repeatedly.

10. No matter what my roommates claim, my sporadic, semi-hearing loss is not reflective of what is currently being said [read: selective hearing].

11. That whole "stinks and stones" thing is just a rumor; those words didn't hurt me. I just brushed them away.

12. Driving my car on E for 20 miles isn't ill-advised; it's an adventure.

13. I totally know how to iron out tough wrinkles in a shirt, change a flat tire and get a red wine stain out of white carpet. You know, all those essential things a girl should know how to do.

14. Coffee is not an addiction. I can stop drinking it any time, starting . . . now.

15. Speeding a few miles over the limit to get to church on time is acceptable and pre-approved for Christians. God understands.

16. If a friend and I split a dessert or eat the same number of chips, the calories cancel themselves out. Every time.

17. Buying something I don't need, but is highly marked down - 50% or more, is part of my essential duty as a shopper.

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