Are You Hungry? Nah, I Had Some Wind

 [Image via: here]

If you haven't already watched the comedic efforts of Harvard Sailing Team, an "Ivy League" sketch comedy group, you're. going. to. love. this!

My coworkers and I pull up their YouTube videos almost daily.

This NY-based group of 5 girls & 4 guys neither sails, nor hails from Harvard. And they're hilarious - in a I'm-not-trying-I-was-born-with-genius-timing way.

Here's one of their funniest videos to date:

P.S. Today's title comes from a joke at 1:24 in the video.

Proofreading: Always. Do. It.

The art of proofreading isn't just for school teachers and copy editors. Bloggers and Tumblr users everywhere, take heed: 

Read over everything before you post.

Just Wear a Skirt - It Will Finally Feel Like Spring And Other Lies I Tell Myself

[Image via: here]

1. Tossing together lots of random leftovers in the fridge makes for a delicious meal.

2. Really cheap nail polish isn't cheap for a reason [aka that it won't actually stay on your fingers for more than 1 day].

3. Setting my clock 14 minutes early actually helps me to arrive places on time.

4. I really don't need a shopping cart for my groceries. I can get through the store quicker without one and can totally manage to carry everything I'm planning to buy.

5. Pandora can read my mind and knows exactly which songs to play when I want to hear it. That must be why the same five songs loop on the Beatles' channel.

6. Life is easy. As in turn on the auto pilot, it's all clear waters ahead.

7. A mental to-do list is just as effective and likely to get checked off as a written one.

8. Paying bills, getting to the bottom of your car's mysterious new clunking sound, dealing with credit card companies, having a root canal - these are all wonderful parts of life as a real, live grown-up.

9. It doesn't really bother me that a coworker of mine insistently makes "hmmMM" sounds as she walks past my desk several times each day. Or that another smacks her gum repeatedly.

10. No matter what my roommates claim, my sporadic, semi-hearing loss is not reflective of what is currently being said [read: selective hearing].

11. That whole "stinks and stones" thing is just a rumor; those words didn't hurt me. I just brushed them away.

12. Driving my car on E for 20 miles isn't ill-advised; it's an adventure.

13. I totally know how to iron out tough wrinkles in a shirt, change a flat tire and get a red wine stain out of white carpet. You know, all those essential things a girl should know how to do.

14. Coffee is not an addiction. I can stop drinking it any time, starting . . . now.

15. Speeding a few miles over the limit to get to church on time is acceptable and pre-approved for Christians. God understands.

16. If a friend and I split a dessert or eat the same number of chips, the calories cancel themselves out. Every time.

17. Buying something I don't need, but is highly marked down - 50% or more, is part of my essential duty as a shopper.

Kiss Me, I'm ... Selfish?

[Image via: here]

Working in a coffee shop can make you go crazy. Take my word for it. After breathing in espresso beans and stacking plastic lids for a few hours, you hear/say things that are very unexpected.

Exhibit A: I was brewing up yet another fresh batch of dark roast the other day while my coworker and I discussed his historical background aka where he came from. "Guess," he said, a smirk forming at the corner of his mouth. "Hmm . . . Russia?" I asked. Sincerely I had no real idea; his international man-of-mystery accent had me completely fooled. After five or six similar countries were named, I put up my white flag and stopped guessing.  [Ethiopia, I later found out. Oh, so close.] "I'm not going to tell you," was his response. Cool. Gad I killed some time searching for an unattainable answer. 

"And you're from?" Mr. Faux-Ethiopia asked, dancing a caffeinated jig around the register.

"Lutz, FL. Born and raised."

"No, so where did your ancestors come from?" he rephrased. "Are you English?"

"I am."

"Scottish?"

"Yep."

"Irish?"

"Uh huh."

"Selfish?"

 "Self-ish? Um, Nahome, you know that's not a thing, right?" At 8:00 A.M. it takes a minute or two to recall big words like ethnicity. 

"You selfish. You English, Scottish, Irish, and self-ish!" he shrieked, completely resembling a giddy middle schooler.

Needless to say, I couldn't convince him otherwise. Every day, Funny Guy relays this hilarious joke to a few of our unsuspecting customers, leading with, "Did you hear that Laa-uu-raa's selfish?!" Nope, that's not my name - or my background, but after 20 + retellings, it does make me chuckle. Just a little bit. Whether you're Irish, Russian, or heck even selfish, here's hoping you have a shamrock of a Lucky-Charms-and-leprechaun-filled St. Patrick's Day. Slainte!

If Only Your Boss Was This Funny

27. This is the number of things on my mental to-do list. So far, I've only crossed off a few, including: "wake up," "make coffee," "get dressed," and "go to work." Oh, and "blog about my ridiculously long to-do list." Done.

On days when it seems like there's no remote chance to accomplish everything, I think it's super appropriate to take a little break. Sneak a few minutes at work to just breathe. And YouTube something hilarious, such as Demetri Martin's witty flip chart jokes.



So make like a kid and give yourself a personal time out. Funniest 9 minutes of your day. Guaranteed.

[Image via: we heart it]

It's definitely getting colder [and I don't just mean all this snow]

Oh. my. goodness. Bring out the mozzarella sticks and heat up some marinara sauce. I have got to tell y'all the absolute string-cheesiest pickup line I've heard recently...

This line is slightly reminiscent of something a much younger, less seasoned, but just as slimy version of HIMYM's Barney Stinson - perhaps Barney Stinson Jr. - would say/do in an attempt to score a girl's number.

CS & I are were walking along in downtown Charlotte and stopped at a crosswalk, waiting for the red light to change. CS turned to look at something over to her right shoulder when this brown-haired guy started heading straight for her with his arms out in front, all zombie-like. *What I'm going to say next literally happened, as unbelievable as it may sound. Said guy then proceeded to put his arms inside her jacket, and say, "I'm cooold."

Cue noisy crickets chirping overtime in the background, as we all take a moment to really picture and soak in the awkwardness unfolding here...

In case you're wondering, that line - or short phrase rather - did not make her go weak at the knees.  And as awkward as the sitch was for all involved parties - myself included, CS handled it with class. She simply backed away from Mr. You've-Got-To-Be-Kidding-Me, simultaneously removing his creepy arms from her coat. Then we walked away. As fast as our brown boots would carry us. It's now a funny memory we can laugh about but at the time, let's just say that I was the only one doing any giggling.

For additional I-can't-believe-he-said-that moments, then check out these 12 terrible lines here.

What is the cheesiest line a guy has tried on you or your friends? Or cheesy-good lines that actually make you smile they're so corny/cute?

Byh,

Lorin

[Image via: LA Times, She Just Wanna Wrote]

Those 5 Little Words

Let's take a quick journey through TV land, back to sitcom days of the late 90s/early 00s.  Say hello again to the Italian Stallion of New York - the smooth-talkin' Joey Tribbiani from Friends.  Just call it Throwback Tuesday. Remember his ever-so-cool, "How you doin'?" pickup line he used shamelessly on absolutely every girl he encountered? Even Rachel got semi-flustered when he raised his eyebrows and asked the magic question.

I stumbled upon this hi-lar-i-ous video yesterday over at Gradspot and just had to share it with y'all.  This goes out to every guy who's ever tried to get a girl's digits ... and to the ladies who inspire the chase. Joey would be proud.

It was so nice talking to you. So nice.

My roommates - CM & CS - are a crazy bunch.  Put us all in the same room for an any extended period of time and we'll be laughing so hard someone has fallen off the couch or has suddenly developed a foreign accent and is repeating random phrases like "Popo Gigio" over and over and over again.

CM, the ever hair-flipper, has been known to always have a Dane Cook joke or a funny t-shirt on hand.
CS does the BEST imitation of Sandy, her GPS.  It's fantastic and always amusing.
And I'm guilty of doing the robot ... quite frequently, actually.

So there's a friend of CM's who somehow got the impression that both CS and I were named Becky.  Weird, right? Especially when, in reality, neither of our names even start with a "B" ... or end in "ecky."  After CM's friend left, we collapsed with laughter. And out of that, we came up with

"All the Famous Beckys" set to the tune of Beyonce's classy "All the Single Ladies."



Catchy, right? We're thinking it'll spread like wildfire.

Have a lovely weekend,

Becky*